Pam and I were flatmates in Staines during the 1980s, two of three “young professionals” sharing a rented flat on a pleasant estate just outside the town centre.

Whenever one of the flatmates moved on, our landlady would advertise for a third tenant in the local press, and we’d be given free rein to interview the prospective candidates.

Pam came for one such interview and was an immediate and natural fit. After all, who could fail to be charmed by her warmth, humour, intelligence, and clear blue eyes?

We spent our few years together doing all the things young women in their late 20s do. There were pubs, parties, and cinemas to go to, and former flatmates to meet up with. I introduced Pam to my group of university friends in the West London area and again, she fitted right in and was very popular.

Pam and I would talk for hours, putting the world to rights and confiding in each other. In later years, especially after becoming friends on Facebook, we’d laugh about the memories of one particular week in October 1987. That was the week that the famous film “Dirty Dancing” came out and as keen cinemagoers, we went to see it at the first opportunity.

The following weekend we were mulling over what to do. After barely a moment’s consideration, we looked at each other and said, in unison, “Shall we go and see Dirty Dancing” again?!” Naturally we did, and enjoyed it just as much as the first time! I’d post clips of Patrick Swayze dancing on Pam’s Facebook timeline for her birthday, and say “We’ll always have Patrick!” Fun times, which of course were much better in real life than I can possibly describe here!

Pam’s move to Wrexham in the late 80s meant that we didn’t see each other very often, but we kept in touch and visited when we could. She loved her new home and on the first or second visit, I heard about the handsome, badminton-playing neighbour up the road. I do remember a brief debate about whether it was a good idea to get involved with someone living so close, but that notion was dismissed, and I think we can all agree that it worked out pretty well…

Having never been to North Wales before, it was a pleasure for me to be introduced by Pam to places like Chirk Castle, Horseshoe Pass, Betws-Y-Coed, and Portmeirion. Always practical and thinking of her guests, she’d produce a flask of tea and snacks from her bag to make sure we were all looked after and, of course, she was an excellent tour guide.

Pam had a wise, down-to-earth, common-sense approach to life, and yet had a spirituality that eluded me. It’s funny how little snippets of our conversations have always stayed with me. Pam was a wonderful friend and I cherish the time we spent together in our 20s, a friendship that endured as our own families grew. In our last messages, she was telling me about the upcoming move to Berkshire and we updated each other on what “our boys” were up to. The world was a better place for having Pam in it, and I’m sure that everyone who knew her felt the same.
With much love

Sally (Russell)
Helsingborg, Sweden
19 January 2024